Tim “Nutting for Distance” O’Connor
What’s your middle name?
Colin. But I’m going to legally change it to Gilligan soon.
Where are you from?
First I was from my Mommy’s vagina and then from there on out I’ve been from Planet Earth, New Jersey.
How fucking long have you been riding for Venture?
I think I’m creeping on 15 friggin’ years of riding for the V-Force! Holy shit!!! That’s a long ass time! Should I be going to some sort of Venture reunion soon?
Which Ventures do you ride?
I’m riding Venture 5.0 Low’s at the moment but after I get home from this trip that I’m currently on in Europe I’m going to switch it up to the 5.2′s. I just started to ride a wider board and it seems apropos to upgrade the trucks as well.
How many Venture ads have you had?
This one should be either my 4th or my 5th? I’ve had many unofficial Venture ads where I’m just skating in the classic Awake Venture shirt. It’s one of my all time favorite shirts so I’ve rocked them a dumpload.
Where was this ad shot and who shot it?
This ad was shot in good ol’ Brooklyn and the voyeur behind the lens was my buddy Jon Mehring.
Did you know you were inventing a trick while you were trying it? And why is it called the Scoliosis?
Hells yeah I knew I was inventing a trick! It’s simply called the Scoliosis ‘cuz if you do it too much you’re gonna need a back-e-otomy from doing too many. I tried to teach someone the trick that didn’t stretch properly beforehand and when they got their G.I. Joe hips twistin’ they went too far and broke something. Spinal fluid was squirting all over the place out of this guy’s ears and shit.
Should skateboarding be in the Olympics?
I’ve been asked this question before and I’ve said “Hell no!!!”. But I’m starting to think… why the hell not as long as Drehobl can skate in it while smoking a cigarette. I just don’t want to see skateboarding getting to a level where people can get scholarships to colleges and whatnot for skating. It needs to stay dirty and evil. Shit have you ever seen that stupid ass sport called Curling? That’s some of the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen in my life and it’s in the Olympics for some reason.
What other sport should be accepted in the Olympics?
Jerking off and nutting for distance.
Has anyone ever confronted you about you clowning them? Any fights?
Not really. People have gotten mad at contests when I do the occasional emcee gig but nothing real signficant. I think most people that aren’t overly insecure know that I’m obviously joking for fun and don’t mean any ill will towards anyone. I’ve got a heart of gold but I’m just a wise ass. I can’t help it… my mouth just says things that you and I both know most people are thinking. I just don’t really care that much about any retribution. There’s this particular quote that I don’t believe is really Dr. Seuss’s but it’s been attached to his name for whatever reason. Regardless of all of that it pretty much sums life up perfectly…..”Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
It’s a terrible story, but I laugh every time I think about it. Tell us about when you got beat up with you own pro model.
It was a July 4th a bunch of years back and I was in San Francisco skating up a street. Some hoods purposely stepped into me and shouldered me simply for the sake of being assholes. I just gave them a “what the fuck!?” and then I kept on skating. They kept talking shit as I was skating away so I threw them a middle finger and told them and the dumb wench they were with to shut the fuck up. They didn’t like that so they all ran after me and some other heads that I didn’t see came in from other places and started running after me as well. The people I was with were too far ahead of me and I was trying to skate up to them to tell them I was about to get into a fight. I didn’t have enough time to reach them so I just picked up my board and cracked the first mug in the grill as he ran up to me. Then I threw another kid on top of a car hood because this was all happening in the middle of the road in traffic. I lost my board when I hit one of the kids with it and I was just spinning around swinging every one of my limbs like a madman and that’s when it happened… I was riding my very own first pro board and one of the hooligans got their grimy mitts on it and hit me over the back of my head with it. Somehow I didn’t end up really getting too hurt. I had a little cut on my head but that was about it so I’d say it was all good for about eight retards trying to beat me down. I got to hit a couple of people and throw a guy onto a car in the middle of traffic. It was quite entertaining since I didn’t end up with any chipped teeth or stabbed. Oh yeah…and they didn’t get my board. I grabbed it back and called the girl a dumb wench again and then I broke the hell out of there.
What is your relationship with Pancho Moler? Do you two go way back?
He’s one of my best friends ever. Unfortunately I don’t get to see him all the time nowadays but whenever I see him we just pick up right where we left off. He’s definitely part of the reason I am the way I am today. Pancho and a bunch of the friends I grew up with at that time shared the same sense of humor. We were all wise asses but simply for the sake of laughter. Fuck too much serious in your life. And hell yeah…we go way back. He used to live with me when we were little…wait…he’s still little. But you know what I mean.
Have you seen the pornos he was in?
Yes sir I have. I may have jerked off to one or two as well. Kinda weird when you’re about to shoot the goo and the porn edits to a shot of your friends face while you’re in mid-nut. Kinda confuses you a bit.
Where is Brian Wenning?
I’m pretty sure he has moved to Russia and joined the Russian mafia. I’ve heard stories of him killing people and leaving a turd in his victims’ belly buttons. It’s his calling card but Johnny Law can’t seem to pinpoint his whereabouts exactly so he remains on the lam!
What are your thoughts on the state of the universe?
I was looking through my telescope the other day and things looked pretty good out there. I think we’re getting closer to finding some solid answers as to what’s going on with some of thee proposed Dark Matter theories and I’ll be able to expound upon this subject much more once the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is up and running again.
What is your first memory of skateboarding?
My first memory is seeing my older brother skating in my driveway and then the next major one after that was of me ollieing an earthworm.
Who were your early influences and why?
My first influences were Natas, Matt Hensley, and anybody that had a good style and was innovative. Gonz was also an influence and people like Brian Lotti in his Planet Earth Now ‘n’ Later part. I was always influenced by Nyjah Huston a lot as well when I was little.
Why is Stefan smiling all the time? Sometimes I think he’s on acid.
Well he might in fact be on acid some of those times but I think he’s smiling all the time because he is one of the most carefree people I have ever come across in my life. He’s living life properly and is seriously having a lot of fun with life. Either all that or like you said…he’s just on acid.
What’s Habitat up to next?
Hemp condoms, boards that you can plant when you’re done with them, and then I think Joe Castrucci wants to kill off all of mankind except for a chosen few so that earth can flourish without the disease known as man constantly strangling sweet sweet Mother Earth.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I’ll probably see myself in a mirror if those still exist.
Who’s your favorite Venture teammate?
I don’t wanna forget anyone but if I have to choose just one person right now it’s gotta be Stefan Janoski. He’s my good buddy and you can’t not have a good time with that guy on and off the board. He rips.
3 reasons to keep skating?
It’s fun as fuck. I think it’s one of the few things in life that gives you a good taste of all walks of life from hanging out with the richest people ever to skating with friends that are ghetto as fuck and poor as all hell. It crosses every racial, financial class, and ethnic boundary and you end up with friends from all walks of life which doesn’t happen with something like snowboarding where you only hang with rich white kids for the most part.
Did I mention it’s fun!?